In memoriam, six months salary

So farewell then six months salary.
Like Elton John with Norma Jean,
I never really knew you at all

Although I think that had we met,
we would have gotten on well together
as I think I dimly remember meeting your twin last year

Keith's mum says that money doesn't buy happiness.
But then she would say that, wouldn't she?

by E.J. Keellings (age 17 1/2)

In honour of today's AGM

(with apologies to Alfred, Lord Tennyson)

Today is the company AGM. It is also the day that the company owes me half a year's back pay. In honour of which, and with apologies to Alfred, Lord Tennyson, I have composed some doggerel. Flushed by my success with the company song, I give you the company poem …


Half a month, half a month, half a month, onward
into the valley of debt, blindly we floundered

Landlords to the left of us, creditors to the right of us,
bank managers in front of us, threatened and thundered

Ours not to make reply, ours not to reason why,
ours but to do and sigh, as wages are plundered

When can their inf'my fade?
O the wild promises made!
All the firm wonder'd.
Incredible the charges they made,
incalculable the bills unpaid.
Can you loan me six hundred?

by E.J. Keellings (age 17 1/2)

Bad moon rising

Two more days and they owe me six months pay.

Plus two months notice.

And the share price needs to rise more than fifty percent to make the options profitable.

Sadder than sadder than sadder than shoelaces

It's sad, very sad that some has a web page devoted to the underwear of female PC game characters.

But it's sadder yet that someone with the (in)appropriate handle "solidsnake3657 " carefully studied the whole page and commented

The #1 isnt the empress of time, her name is Shahdee and she tried to kill the empress of time before the prince stepped in and killed Shahdee

Resigned

I haven't, but I am.

I'm still physically coming to the office. For how much longer, I wonder.

Revenge of the zombie bunnies

Don't ask what I was doing in a bar at 2:30pm on a work day. Mayer I have a side-job as a peanut inspector.

Anyhoo, there I was (there I was, there I was...) and in walked Kenny the bunny-killer.

I looked at his right wrist and was immediately reminded of me last year. Like me, he had just been discharged from hospital, and was even carrying a sheave of X-rays - and he had popped in for a quick one, before going home to his wife.

Apparently, he had to go audit some company premises in Malaysia, which called for a "routine" medical before he left. They took one look at his x-rays and got him straight into bed with the curtains drawn and a circle of doctors with "grave" expressions prodding and poking.

They suspected everything from very advanced lung cancer to severe lymph node problems and after a quick conflab decided to poke around a little inside. Whatever it was (some long, Latin mumbo-jumbo), they finally cured it with some extremely strong steroids over the course of a week or so.

Recounting the story, he showed me a rather nasty incision at the base of his throat, just above the top ribs. But he didn't seem too concerned, so long as the beer didn't seep out of it.

Weak US dollar hits papal profits

The Vatican made a loss last year as the weaker dollar reduced the value of donations from the faithful in the United States.

Almost a quarter of the $79.8m (£40.4m) worth of offerings it received came from collections made in US churches.

But as the dollar lost 15% of its value against the euro, the Catholic Church's governing body made a loss of 9.1m euros (£7.3m: $14.3m) in 2007.

That was despite receiving a single anonymous donation of $14.3m.

(full article here).

Hmm, let me see … a profit of $79.8m - $14.3m = $65.5m, and the Catholic News Agency says that there are 1,115,000,000 Catholics, which means that they each on average donated a whopping five cents each!

Shum mishtake shurely?

Oh, well, perhaps they could sell some of that gold plate, or those graven images which they worship?

Don't worry, lads, the Lord will provide.

Embarassing

Just had the bank on the 'phone - my credit card is over max & what am I going to do about it?

So I walk into the big boss's office with them on the 'phone, bluntly explain the situation and ask him the same question. He replies that I will have half a month by the end of the week, maybe even a month (which sounds like a special exception to me). I repeat that to the 'phone and ask them to call back on Friday and confirm.

I stand and turn and don't even bother to look at him as I say, "that was exceedingly embarrassing, and I don't want it to happen again". He doesn't reply as I leave. I feel nothing but contempt for him, and I am sure that it showed (which might not have been the smartest move, but frankly I can't be arsed to pretend).

Dude, wtf am I doing here?

Otoh, Plan 9 from Outer Space marches inexorably onward.

Orgy with a twist

It seems that some B-list celeb has died in an orgy on a 'plane.

Apparently this is of such import that I have a 2p.m. meeting to discuss it.

Good girls are just better at lying

I spotted this one on Orchard Road yesterday …

Too hot to care

Cabin fever – the usual weekend these days. Staying at home, waiting fro Monday when I can go into the office and learn that there is no news on the salary front.

Today I crack and decide that I will blow some on used books.

I stand at the bust stop and watch a 190 close. The 190 is the best of buses, the worst of buses. It goes almost everywhere, but when it approaches my stop, four stops from Orchard Road, it has a tendency to be full.

So the 190 approaches, passes, slows not a jot, sails on by – sardine-full.

As does the next.

There are a few spaces on the next, but being raised in a certain time and place I allow the four others at the stop to board.

And the doors close in my face. (more)

Punggol 5k (rain didn't stop play)

(ain't ready for no half marathon)

Made my best time in ten years and damned nearly killed myself.

Mister handsome

I popped into a bar which I haven't been in for while and they told me that I had left without paying my tab last time. Sure, it can happen, but this one was for only two beers, so you would think that I would have remembered to pay. But I wasn't about to quibble over two cheap beers.

So, barlady asks bargirl to bring my tab and she says, "we had to file that one under his nickname" (they have had a fair bit of staff turnover recently).

So I get the tab to pay it and glace down to see that someone had written "Mister Handsome - two Tigers".

Ego boost, or what?

Sure, it's probably just BS, but they'll be getting my custom again

jesus rode dinosaurs

Ok, to be fair, it only says that he "probably" rode dinosaurs.

Inconsiderate bastard

On this day in previous years...

2006 Au petit Salut
2006 The killer inside me

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