Orgy with a twist
It seems that some B-list celeb has died in an orgy on a 'plane.
Apparently this is of such import that I have a 2p.m. meeting to discuss it.
french military victories
Try this before Google "fixes" it:-On Google, type in "french military victories" without the quotes.
Instead of hitting "Search," hit "I'm Feeling Lucky", accept the suggestion.
For added hilarity, don't forget to follow the link which Google asks if you really meant.
American beer
("possibly" innacurate)
Reported as "possibly innumerate"!!!
Rolling on the floor, spewing my fucking guts up
Ambition
A love story in three pictures
With thanks to the ever cynical Tom Shoe …
Part one - the meeting
part two - the kiss
Part three - the inevitable
Water into wine
(happy Easter)
Side by side
A woman's husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months, yet she had stayed by his bedside every single day.One day, when he came to, he motioned for her to come nearer.
As she sat by him, he whispered, eyes full of tears, "You know what? "You have been with me all through the bad times. When
I got fired, you were there to support me. When my business failed, you were there. When I got shot, you were by my side.
When we lost the house, you stayed right here. When my health started failing, you were still by my side... You know what?"
"What dear?" she gently asked, smiling as her heart began to fill with warmth.
"I think you're bad luck... get the fuck away from me."
Time Management and Sex
An architect, an artist and an engineer were discussing whether it was better to spend time with the wife or a mistress.The architect said he enjoyed time with his wife, building a solid foundation for an enduring relationship.
The artist said he enjoyed time with his mistress, because of the passion and mystery he found there.
The engineer said, "I like both."
"Both?"
Engineer: "Yeah. If you have a wife and a mistress, they will each assume you are spending time with the other woman, and you can go to the lab and get some work done."